Let’s face it, dating outside of college sucks major cellulite infested arsch.That’s why so many dating sites and TV dating shows exist. Even millionaires have trouble dating.

Clever graduates leave with a degree and a spouse. Unfortunately, you grabbed the degree but forgot the wife. Your college buds are getting married and popping kids out. Your parents want grandbabies before they croak. You wonder if you should’ve married that mediocre chick since it seems there’s no good fish left in the sea. No pun intended.

Dating strategies used in college no longer work. You had more chances of meeting girls on campus, in class, via friends or at parties. Post grad life is spent working or searching for work, which causes severe depression after you realize the tremendous amounts of debt and endless hours of cramming proved necessary only to become a workalcoholic, but that’s another story. You might consider dating a coworker but that’s risky. You go to bars but drunk vision is unreliable. These ten million cockblockers can make dating stressful.

Plus, your standards have changed, well hopefully. No longer are you satisfied with drunken, drug induced nights of sex. You desire something deeper and meaningful. You’re no longer thinking of who you can lay tonight but who you can lay for the rest of your life. Even if you aren’t ready for commitment, you at least want someone with potential to become a life partner. Same for her! Meaning you have to up your game. Don’t give up though! Before you audition for “The Bachelor” change your strategy instead.

First, list traits you are looking for. Don’t just think of physical qualities. Don’t discriminate. Date around. This will help you realize what you don’t like and like. You might even find traits in a person that you actually need. I always thought introverts were boring but I learned to talk less by dating one.

Next step is to put yourself out there. Change up your routine by checking out events and trying new activities.Try meetup groups, take free dance lessons, wall climb, volunteer for a cause or join a co-ed intramurals team. These partner activities will help you meet chicks. Sharing the same interest will break the ice. Plus you’re likely to see her repeatedly. If nothing else, at least you will get fit and/or find a cause you’re passionate about. A hot body plus an active social life makes you more attractive to the ladies. Also don’t be afraid to tell people you are looking. Don’t tell your buddy who finds anything in a skirt sexy. Tell people who know you well and will be likely to match you with someone worthwhile.

Lastly, while enjoying the single life remember to date yourself. Love yourself first. I don’t just mean masturabation. No one will like you much less love you, if you don’t love yourself. If you wouldn’t even date yourself, why should anyone want to date you?

If you’re not happy with yourself, take steps to change before entering a new relationship. For example, I am highly impatient when it comes to getting what I want. I really don’t want an impatient partner so I’ve been practicing patience. Examine how you can change in order to be someone you would like to date.

If you are desperate, you will attract desperate women. Take personal action to fulfill your own life, don’t wait for a woman to fulfill it. The tragic romance days are over. Life is tragic enough. A good partner isn’t looking for someone to be their very breath, but for support while they take a breath.

Don’t settle. You didn’t wait this long just to take what you can get. When you find that lucky someone, you should be happy instead of secretly wishing for someone you really wanted. You both should be high fiving each other, especially when naked.

Correction: High fives are so 99’s so fist bump instead. Or just bump. Just have fun while you’re dating!

Thanks for dwelling with me!

Photo Source:

Flickr/Jay Lee Haywood

I am JR (pronounced Jay-R not Junior) the creator of Cyber Mancave! I am polished, raw, edited, uncut, tactful, tactless, funny, serious, caring, tough, happy, angry, politically correct, politically incorrect but I'll always be me without any apologizes so you can be you without any apologizes. I don’t pretend to have any expertise. In the words of Socrates “I know that I don’t know”. I am not the spokesperson for every woman but I will offer insight from my own unique female perspective. You can contact me at cybermancave@gmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you. Thanks for dwelling in the cave!

Why Do People Kill?

Posted: April 2, 2012 by JR in Dwell Upon This, The Dark Side
Tags: , ,

Unfortunately, I don’t have the mind or heart of a murder, so I am unable to answer this question.  I always thought it was absurd to kill not because it is ethically or morally wrong. Evolution preaches survival of the fittest, which means being fit enough to survive natural elements and predators. Evolution is primarily concerned with survival, thus I find it rather illogical that our genes would strive to survive just so that we can massacre each other.  Not killing is merely practical.

People who kill probably feel a sense of power over taking someone else’s life but that life was destined to end, even if they interfered or not.  In my opinion, the main reason it is wrong to kill is because death is certain no matter what we do. Death is the only absolute truth and the only certainty that life offers. So wouldn’t it be great if we just all die of natural causes, natural disasters or freak accidents rather than at the hands of a fellow human being?

Don’t just survive, don’t just live but stay ALIVE!

Thanks for dwelling with me!

Photo Flickr/ Gideon Tsang

I am JR (pronounced Jay-R not Junior) the creator of Cyber Mancave! I am polished, raw, edited, uncut, tactful, tactless, funny, serious, caring, tough, happy, angry, politically correct, politically incorrect but I'll always be me without any apologizes so you can be you without any apologizes. I don’t pretend to have any expertise. In the words of Socrates “I know that I don’t know”. I am not the spokesperson for every woman but I will offer insight from my own unique female perspective. You can contact me at cybermancave@gmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you. Thanks for dwelling in the cave!

Ever since I was little, I have always wondered why each gender is assigned a color. Why assign boys blue and girls pink? Why use those specfic colors? This simple questioned baffled me.  Now that I am older, I think I found the answer. Vaginas are pink and balls are blue.  Feel free to leave your own answer in the comments!

 

Thanks for dwelling with me!

Photo Flickr/ Janetmck

I am JR (pronounced Jay-R not Junior) the creator of Cyber Mancave! I am polished, raw, edited, uncut, tactful, tactless, funny, serious, caring, tough, happy, angry, politically correct, politically incorrect but I'll always be me without any apologizes so you can be you without any apologizes. I don’t pretend to have any expertise. In the words of Socrates “I know that I don’t know”. I am not the spokesperson for every woman but I will offer insight from my own unique female perspective. You can contact me at cybermancave@gmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you. Thanks for dwelling in the cave!

Keep It In Your Pants Man!

Posted: March 28, 2012 by JR in Gender, Sex, The Light Side
Tags: , , ,

I find it funny how evolutionary arguments regarding sexual attitudes only seem to include men. Does evolution not affect female sexual behavior? Oh wait, I forgot, evolution says we only want to have sex to procreate. I smell the shit of a bull. I find it even funnier that these arguments of evolution and nature are only supported when used to excuse societal accepted male sexual behavior.

Let’s be real. You are not a sex addict due to how your primitive brain was wired for sex by evolution. You are simply a horny bastard. You are not a visual creature mainly because you are not a creature. You are human and your dick is aroused by visual and tactile stimulation.  I know your “primitive/animal like” urges seem too hard for your human brain to tame but please do.

Now that you have been enlightened please keep it in your pants and whip it out only when appropriate.  Otherwise, you will find yourself in a rather sticky and embarrassing situation like this Russian news reporter in the video below. This guy takes his job very seriously and uses an effective hands on approach to get the job done quickly.  Maybe a degree in broadcasting does have perks! I didn’t realize that masturbation could be part of one’s job duty.

On the more serious note, it is disappointing that the beauty of the feminine form is overshadowed by uncontrollable lust. Don’t get me wrong! I love how the sway of my hips keeps a man hypnotized. But look don’t touch, this includes touching yourself too (at least refrain from doing so publicly). I don’t mind that men are visual, but it doesn’t mean you have to act on what you see. You see that the dishes need to be washed yet they remain dirty. Why not gaze upon a woman with amazement/awe rather than with solely egocentric lustful desires?

Funny Video:

Video/YouTube Certifiedwhiteninja

Thanks for dwelling with me! 

I am JR (pronounced Jay-R not Junior) the creator of Cyber Mancave! I am polished, raw, edited, uncut, tactful, tactless, funny, serious, caring, tough, happy, angry, politically correct, politically incorrect but I'll always be me without any apologizes so you can be you without any apologizes. I don’t pretend to have any expertise. In the words of Socrates “I know that I don’t know”. I am not the spokesperson for every woman but I will offer insight from my own unique female perspective. You can contact me at cybermancave@gmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you. Thanks for dwelling in the cave!

Love is an unpredictable storm ready to swept you off your feet like a helpless victim. Love can consume you. You can drown in love. This is what scares many of us. You can resist it or you can surrender. Love requires surrender but not to the Beloved as we have falsely believed. Love requires you surrender to yourself, to your own ego and your own fears. This is why love is so hard.  Get ready for the storm. Knock down the barriers you’ve built against love.  Follow the advice of the The Wallin’ Jennys and don’t run for cover when the storm is comin’.

The Wallin Jennys- “Storm Comin”

 

Video/YouTube Cbcradio3

Thanks for dwelling on love with me!

I am JR (pronounced Jay-R not Junior) the creator of Cyber Mancave! I am polished, raw, edited, uncut, tactful, tactless, funny, serious, caring, tough, happy, angry, politically correct, politically incorrect but I'll always be me without any apologizes so you can be you without any apologizes. I don’t pretend to have any expertise. In the words of Socrates “I know that I don’t know”. I am not the spokesperson for every woman but I will offer insight from my own unique female perspective. You can contact me at cybermancave@gmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you. Thanks for dwelling in the cave!

I overheard a conversation about a near death experience. The lucky survivor was mainly concerned about his mother receiving the dreaded phone call explaining the death of her son. I thought to myself but what about his father. Wouldn’t his father be just as torn about the loss of his son?

We often overlook men in the grieving process. Because we were made to believe men are unemotional, we falsely assume that something as severe as losing a loved one doesn’t have a strong emotional effect on men. Death can have a stronger impact on men than it does on women. Men are expected to not show emotion, remain strong, be there for others and keep everything together. Thus many men feel they can’t express their grief. Even when they do express grief, some people may not consider the grieving to be “appropriate”. Just as men and women have distinct methods of communicating and expressing emotion, they also have distinctions in the grieving process.

 Granted regardless of sex people grieve differently. Cultural differences also influence how one grieves.  We often overlook the importance of grieving in our over worked American society. Mourners are only given three days of bereavement before being thrown back to work.  The loss of a loved one is very difficult to deal with, especially when trying to keep up with everyday life.  Grieving is not only necessary but good for your mental health. Below are links to articles that include helpful tips on understanding the male grieving process and on coping.

Articles: 
Men and Grief
Loss, Grief and Manliness: What Every Man Should Know About Losing A Loved One
Men Who Grieve Together
Real Men Don’t Grieve? – Or Do they?  

Uplifting Song About Death by The Flaming Lips titled “Do You Realize?”

 

Thanks for dwelling with me!

Video/YouTube UniqueGirlXLiving

I am JR (pronounced Jay-R not Junior) the creator of Cyber Mancave! I am polished, raw, edited, uncut, tactful, tactless, funny, serious, caring, tough, happy, angry, politically correct, politically incorrect but I'll always be me without any apologizes so you can be you without any apologizes. I don’t pretend to have any expertise. In the words of Socrates “I know that I don’t know”. I am not the spokesperson for every woman but I will offer insight from my own unique female perspective. You can contact me at cybermancave@gmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you. Thanks for dwelling in the cave!

In a previous article,  “Men: Pack Leaders, Pack Members or Pack Lovers?” , I focused on the negative side of male solidarity.  Too often male packs can lead to detrimental results.  Now I want to focus on the positive aspects of male solidarity. I have always admired men who come together for the forces of good.  There is no better example of male solidarity than in the poem “Tony Steinberg: Brave 7th Grade Viking Warrior”  by Taylor Mali.

Text for Tony Steinberg: Brave Seventh Grade Viking Warrior

Video/YouTube uploaded by Taylor Mali

 Thanks for dwelling with me!

I am JR (pronounced Jay-R not Junior) the creator of Cyber Mancave! I am polished, raw, edited, uncut, tactful, tactless, funny, serious, caring, tough, happy, angry, politically correct, politically incorrect but I'll always be me without any apologizes so you can be you without any apologizes. I don’t pretend to have any expertise. In the words of Socrates “I know that I don’t know”. I am not the spokesperson for every woman but I will offer insight from my own unique female perspective. You can contact me at cybermancave@gmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you. Thanks for dwelling in the cave!

From a young age, boys learn to combat the forces of good or evil. They pretend to be super heroes fighting villains, cops arresting robbers or Indians shooting cowboys. They become soldiers when playing with dispensable, plastic GI-Joes. Some even grow up to become men who fight bad guys in video games such as Call of Duty. Others fight bad guys in real wars. They can’t all be good guys, thus boys learn early on to choose sides.

But who are the bad guys exactly? And what do good guys look like? Good cops and bad cops wear the same uniform. Allies and enemies both carry weapons. When the line between good and evil is blurred, how can boys tell the difference? What happens when a boy desires to combat evil but realizes he may have evil desires? What follows after he realizes he isn’t a hero full of goodness? Well, if not a hero, then he’s a villain. He is only given two choices after all.

The video emphasizes the societal misconceptions regarding male goodness. The false belief that men are animals in need of taming is not a new concept. The video refers to this with the pack of dogs surrounding the boy and with the alligator tattoo on the ice cream truck driver’s hand. The tattoo, along with the vicious manner in which he devours the cones, is indicative of his predatory nature. Dogs can be man’s best friend or a vicious attacker. Boys learn to join the pack. They learn to choose between being predators or prey. My main concern is boys will become men who struggle with knowing what direction to take.

How do boys know when to be a predator? Are bad deeds justifiable when done to bad people? Are boys taught to get what they desire by any means, even if it results in harming others? Can male cravings be controlled? Does stealing from criminals in order to compensate for a past sin make a wrong right? Is evil contagious or did their deeds awaken pre-existing evil? Could the desire to combat evil really be the desire to combat one’s own evil urges?

At the end, we see the driver’s tattooed hand was removed; resulting in taming, domesticating and pacifying him like a wild animal. It is generally believed that men are intrinsically evil and must strive after goodness. This is achieved either by the love and domestication of a woman or by being broken and beat. They are incapable of overcoming their primitive nature on their own.

In my opinion, these false beliefs serve as excuses for societal accepted male behavior. If we buy into this, we ignore the few good men as we call them, who do good without force, be it gentle or violent.

Even when a man’s goodness is acknowledged, it is often credited to something outside of himself. For example, divine intervention, superhuman powers or how his mother raised him. Superman, for example, wasn’t even from this planet. Although Eve supposedly committed the first sin, we inherit the sins of our fathers not of our mothers. A man couldn’t have donated sperm to co-create Jesus Christ. It is more plausible that He, due to His goodness, was the son of God. He couldn’t have been the son of man because man’s true nature is evil. However, it is acceptable that He was born from a woman, because women are mainly seen as intrinsically good.

Men shouldn’t be seen as intrinsically evil and women as intrinsically good. Because if goodness is seen as a woman’s trait, then a man can’t be good. This is highly problematic in a society where anything as minute as sucking from a straw is emasculating. Anything the slightest bit feminine can cause a man’s penis to be replaced by a vagina. Thus goodness, if seen as a woman’s trait, will be avoided at all cost.

At first, the boys seem to be having innocent fun. Converting ordinary toys such as slingshots into weapons with no intention of real harm. I truly believe boys and men have the best intentions at heart. We should teach and encourage them to act upon those good intentions. Good men are not tamed, weak or passive. Good men are strong.

Instead of showing boys to combat evil with evil, let’s teach them to combat their own shadow. If we don’t mend the split between good and evil, our shadows will overpower us. Evil isn’t always caused by the Other. Good and evil aren’t external. The line between good and evil seems blurry, because there is no line; both co-exist within. All humans, regardless of gender, have the capacity for good and evil. Our hands can heal just as they can harm. We simply choose how to use them.

 Thanks for dwelling on good and evil with me! This article was originally published at The Good Men Project!

Sources:

Skrillex Bangarang Video from YouTube uploaded by The Official Skrillex 

 

 

I am JR (pronounced Jay-R not Junior) the creator of Cyber Mancave! I am polished, raw, edited, uncut, tactful, tactless, funny, serious, caring, tough, happy, angry, politically correct, politically incorrect but I'll always be me without any apologizes so you can be you without any apologizes. I don’t pretend to have any expertise. In the words of Socrates “I know that I don’t know”. I am not the spokesperson for every woman but I will offer insight from my own unique female perspective. You can contact me at cybermancave@gmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you. Thanks for dwelling in the cave!

Desperate Measures

Posted: March 9, 2012 by JR in Gender, The Light Side
Tags:

Two guys in Vancouver posted a hilarious Craiglist’s ad offering to pay a girl to measure their Johnson’s. They want to settle a long-standing cock fight. They hope to prove once and for all whose is bigger.  I wish I lived in Vancouver. I could really use the quick cash! Really guys! Is it that big of a deal? Size is relative. Vaginas vary so each woman is going to have her own preference. My first man ever was Japanese. Not that I am insinuating anything based on race. I personally have a preference for smaller because of the way I am shaped. So long your girlfriend isn’t complaining then it shouldn’t matter.

However, this has nothing to do with their girlfriends. They won’t let their girlfriends measure them because they don’t want their girls looking at the other guy’s penis. But it’s perfectly fine for a random girl to do it. And Freud had the audacity to accuse women of penis envy? Who is this big show for anyways? They explicitly state they want to be told in front of each other who has the bigger penis. This is about one man walking away proud and tall with his huge penis swinging left and right, while the other humiliatingly cries in a corner.

What are these guys trying to prove anyways? So what if the other guy has a bigger penis. What is that going to change? Should he be crowned King Of All Dicks? Should he win a medal? Should he get a cookie?

There will always be someone bigger. They need to get over their Mr. Big Envy. Instead of spending $50.00 to prove nothing at all, they should buy each other drinks like real friends do. Real men are confident and don’t need to go to desperate measures in order to measure up to some false illusion of manhood based on genitalia. Do you really want to reduce your entire self-worth to your penis size? Don’t you want to be more than just a big dick?

Thanks for dwelling with me!

Flickr/Blmurch

I am JR (pronounced Jay-R not Junior) the creator of Cyber Mancave! I am polished, raw, edited, uncut, tactful, tactless, funny, serious, caring, tough, happy, angry, politically correct, politically incorrect but I'll always be me without any apologizes so you can be you without any apologizes. I don’t pretend to have any expertise. In the words of Socrates “I know that I don’t know”. I am not the spokesperson for every woman but I will offer insight from my own unique female perspective. You can contact me at cybermancave@gmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you. Thanks for dwelling in the cave!

Put An End To Slut Shaming

Posted: March 6, 2012 by JR in Dwell Upon This, Gender, Sex

The Virgin Mary Would Use It Too

 

I know! I am going to hell for this. But why go to hell for telling a white lie, when I can go to hell for being a slut? If I am going to hell, I want to do it the right way! I am sick and tired of women being slut shamed by men. The same men who run off to slam their dicks into prostitutes, rather than fuck their wives. Why? Because fucking is not for ladies, fucking is for sluts. These men falsely believe that women aren’t truly sexual. We must be convinced and persuaded to have sex and it only comes from the biological desire to produce a child. If women weren’t meant to be sexual, then why is that we can have sex at any time? All we need is natural wetness, lube or good ole fashion spit. A man’s ability to have sex is contingent upon an erection of which he has to sustain. After ejaculation, a man has to wait before having sex. Women can have sex after having multiply orgasms. We can even ejaculate. Yes, there are about 25% of women who are incapable of orgasm, but that just proves that 75%, the majority of women, can have an orgasm(s). We can even have an orgasm from riding a bike or a horse. So which sex is truly built for sex? Humans are one of the few animals that can have sex for recreation. Are you sure God didn’t intend on us to enjoy it?

I had a friend who enjoyed sleeping with sexually confident women, who some would call “overly” sexual. (Whatever that means). He married this woman who is sexually conservative. He would call me to see how he could get her to open up. He even contemplated cheating on her because he wasn’t sexually satisfied. I asked him why he didn’t choose to marry the other girls. Well, he was worried they would cheat on him. Basically, he was insecure and self-projected his own desires to cheat. He also secretly hoped his wife would tame his sexual urges for other women. He truly thought he could marry a conservative woman and turn her into a sex machine.

This is the problem. Men actually think they have control over our bodies and our sexual desires. Men act like they can get us to try or do things. Why would you prefer to trick her into having sex with you rather than her truly having a desire to have sex with you? Women have sex willingly and more so than anything women want sex. When some men make this discovery, they feel like they struck a gold mine. Other men, like Rush Limbaugh, become insecure and choose to shame women for their perfectly healthy, perfectly human sexual desires. The statements made by Limbaugh just go to prove how far we are from ever reaching gender equality. Mark Greene brilliantly explains just how fucked up Limbaugh is in “Rush Limbaugh Finally Shits The Bed”. This isn’t going to change unless every man and woman makes it his/her moral responsibility to stop slut shaming. It only hurts you in the end. Put an end to this virgin/whore dichotomy. Your dick is only going to benefit in the end.  I can’t tell you how many times I have held back with a man sexually for fear of being labeled a slut. We need to stop seeing women as saints or sluts. Women are human too.

Virgin Mary had sex with Joseph after baby Jesus was born. He wasn’t concerned about sloppy seconds! He didn’t mind that the Holy Spirit got there first!

Get over your insecurities about a woman’s sexuality. You both could be having a fucking good time!

 

Thanks for dwelling with me! I’m not advocating carelessness. Use a condom and respect others! 

Flickr/Brocco Lee

I am JR (pronounced Jay-R not Junior) the creator of Cyber Mancave! I am polished, raw, edited, uncut, tactful, tactless, funny, serious, caring, tough, happy, angry, politically correct, politically incorrect but I'll always be me without any apologizes so you can be you without any apologizes. I don’t pretend to have any expertise. In the words of Socrates “I know that I don’t know”. I am not the spokesperson for every woman but I will offer insight from my own unique female perspective. You can contact me at cybermancave@gmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you. Thanks for dwelling in the cave!